When most people hear the words “domestic violence,” they imagine a woman as the survivor. While women are disproportionately affected, men also experience abuse—often silently. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, one in four men will experience some form of physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime. Yet, because of social stigma, cultural expectations, and gender stereotypes, many men suffer in isolation.
In New York City, organizations and practitioners are working to change that narrative by expanding support for male domestic violence survivors in NYC, ensuring they have access to the same trauma-informed and compassionate care as women. Understanding how domestic violence affects men—and what healing can look like—is essential to supporting the emotional wellbeing of our communities as a whole.
Below are five often-overlooked ways domestic violence affects the men in your life, and how to connect them with the holistic and community-based domestic violence support resources in Manhattan that can help them recover.
1. Emotional Suppression and Shame
Many men are socialized to suppress emotions or equate vulnerability with weakness. When a man experiences abuse—whether emotional, physical, or psychological—he may feel shame about not fitting the stereotype of the “protector.” This shame can delay seeking help or lead to denial of the trauma altogether.
Cultural variances deepen this silence. In some communities, masculinity is tied to social status, strength, or family honor, making disclosure feel impossible. Men of color, immigrant men, and LGBTQ+ men often face additional barriers due to discrimination or lack of culturally competent care.
Encouraging open conversations and connecting survivors with support for men who have experienced domestic violence—like Safe Horizon or the Crime Victims Treatment Center—can create a safe space to speak, process, and begin healing.
2. Physical Health Decline
Chronic stress from abuse affects the body. Men who endure domestic violence may experience high blood pressure, insomnia, tension headaches, and other stress-related illnesses. Over time, the nervous system remains in a constant “fight or flight” state, which can weaken the immune system and contribute to long-term disease risk.
Holistic modalities like acupuncture for PTSD and trauma-informed massage can be invaluable in regulating the nervous system and reducing physiological stress. Acupuncture helps release tension and lower cortisol levels, while trauma-informed massage allows survivors to safely reconnect with their bodies through gentle, consent-based touch.
These therapies, which are part of somatic healing, help survivors physically discharge trauma and restore balance.
3. Relationship and Trust Issues
After experiencing domestic violence, many men struggle with forming or maintaining healthy relationships. Betrayal, manipulation, or control from a partner can leave deep emotional wounds. Survivors may find it difficult to trust others—or themselves—leading to isolation or cycles of avoidance.
Therapeutic approaches that combine emotional and body-centered healing can help rebuild trust from the inside out. Programs that provide both support for women and men understand that healthy relationships are a community issue, not just an individual one.
For example, trauma-focused counseling combined with somatic healing can support emotional reintegration. When the body feels safe again, the heart can open, allowing trust and intimacy to slowly return.
4. Impact on Parenting and Family Roles
When men experience domestic violence, their roles as fathers, sons, and partners are often affected. Many survivors internalize guilt for “not being strong enough” or fear being judged as unfit parents. These feelings can hinder their ability to connect with their children or co-parent effectively.
In families where both parents have experienced trauma—sometimes in different ways—children often mirror the emotional instability they observe. Breaking this cycle requires both awareness and support.
NYC organizations offering domestic violence support resources in Manhattan provide family counseling, parenting programs, and legal advocacy that help men and women rebuild safe, nurturing environments for their children. By seeking help, fathers can model resilience and emotional intelligence—powerful lessons for the next generation.
5. Spiritual and Identity Disconnection
Perhaps one of the most profound yet least discussed effects of domestic violence is the loss of identity and spiritual grounding. Survivors—regardless of gender—often describe feeling detached from themselves or from a sense of purpose. For men, this can translate into overworking, substance use, or emotional withdrawal.
Reconnecting with the body and spirit through acupuncture, breathwork, or trauma-informed massage can reignite self-awareness. These holistic practices promote mindfulness and emotional clarity, gently restoring the sense of self that trauma once fragmented.
Many wellness practitioners are now integrating culturally sensitive care—acknowledging the unique spiritual and communal frameworks different men come from. For example, a Latinx man may find healing through family-centered therapy and somatic practices rooted in ancestral traditions, while an African American man may resonate with community circles or faith-based trauma recovery programs.
Finding Pathways to Healing
Recovery from domestic violence is not one-size-fits-all. It’s a personal, often non-linear journey that requires safe spaces and compassionate resources. Whether it’s connecting with community-based organizations, working with a trauma-informed therapist, or exploring holistic treatments like acupuncture, the goal is to restore wholeness.
In Manhattan and throughout NYC, survivors—both male and female—can access integrated resources, including:
- Safe Horizon – Confidential counseling, advocacy, and crisis support
- Sanctuary for Families – Legal and therapeutic services for gender-based violence survivors
- Crime Victims Treatment Center (CVTC) – Offers trauma therapy and holistic care
- The Healing Center NYC – Specializes in culturally competent trauma support
These organizations offer support for domestic violence survivors in NYC and increasingly inclusive programs for men, recognizing that healing all genders strengthens the entire community.
Domestic violence affects everyone, not just its immediate victims. It ripples through families, friendships, and communities—impacting emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being. Recognizing that men can also be survivors is a critical step in breaking the cycle of silence and shame.
As we continue to uplift awareness during Domestic Violence Awareness Month, let it serve as a reminder that healing requires compassion, visibility, and inclusivity. Just as early detection saves lives, early intervention and support save spirits.
When we make space for all survivors—men and women alike—to seek help, embrace somatic healing, and reclaim their sense of safety, we nurture a community where empathy replaces silence and healing replaces harm.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, help is available 24/7. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, text “START” to 88788, or visit thehotline.org. You are not alone.